They change your life. They change who you are. I have obviously experienced this or I wouldn't be bloging about it. Losing a child-ditto. I lost my daughter and nearly my own life when I was pregnant. She would have been my first born. I was blessed with two beatiful boys afterwards, but there will always be a special place in my heart for girls since I didn't get to have mine. I'm ok with it. It just wasn't meant to be and it was a very long time ago. These and others are a big part of what my book is about. It's autobiographical and I'm still writing it.
When you have crossed the veil to the other side and been sent back, your perspective on life changes. This has happened to many people. Yes, I can be overly emotional about emotional things in life. Yes, I do view the little things in life which so much more enthusiasm and wonder because I almost lost my ability to even be here and be able to experience all these things in the first place. I almost didn't get to even raise my boys.
We all just want to fit in. To be liked. To have friends and laugh and feel life is "good." Having these things happen to us, is traumatizing and does leaves emotional scars. I think there are far more of us who struggle in everyday relationships than are willing to admit. Some people never really let anyone in to know how they are truly feeling. My Mom is like that. It's very sad. Many of us have these same struggles without the same or any discernible precursors. We are complicated beings that's for sure. We certainly have all experienced pain, sorrow, feelings of abandonement, discrimination, etc. on different levels in our lives. What better way to feel better than to share and not feel so alone in one's grief? That is most certainly one of the biggest reasons why I decided to write my story and share it with the world. When others can relate and you have those things in common, they feel better and you feel better.
Wow. Being stuck here at home today has made me dive too deeply into the self introspection. Boring!
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